Pure Yet Tainted
by Shizu-ruu
Summary: AU. A virus infected their lives - and they could never go back to what was before. After the clones malfunction and go on a killing spree, will they be able to find their peace ever again? Eventual Shizaya. Tsupsy, Psy420Vi138, Delihibi / HIATUS
1. Prologue

**A/N: So this is the last thing I will put up before leaving. Actually I'm leaving in an hour or so... This is a fill on drrkink.**

**Original prompt is too long to put up, but you can find it on drrkink ?thread=21999469#t21999469**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Durarara! or/and any of its characters.**

* * *

_Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation._  
-Oscar Wilde

* * *

He loves Psyche. Sometimes he finds it almost painful and unbearable - the powerful clenching around his heart, setting him on flames during the most random moments such as when Psyche smiles in his adorable way, when he sings or simply when he's next to him on the mattress, sleeping.

Loves the way Psyche drinks his milkshakes, the way Psyche stresses because of his perfect - as he never fails to remind his lover - hair, the way he hugs him on every oppoturnity. Adores all his small flaws - the clinginess, childishness and all the other things around him. He gets happy every time Psyche is jealous and only ruffles the smaller man's hair, because he just couldn't cheat on Psyche, doesn't have it in him.

What would he do without Psyche? He doesn't want to know - we never want to think of the worst case scenarios because they bring up anxiety to the pits of our stomachs. So we ignore them, pretend that they're not there, that they don't exist.

Tsugaru was told that his feelings are artificial. That he's only a machine, something that doesn't have its own mind and emotions but how could something, that feels so good, so right, so real be fake?

Tsugaru looked down at his partner on the pillow. Psyche had a focused expression on his face, eyebrows scrunched together, small wrinkles between them, dark shiny hair messy and lips slightly parted.

Brushing his fingers against the other one's cheek, he lay down and went to sleep.

* * *

_"Delic."_

"Delic."

**"Delic!"**

_**"Delic, you stupid ingrate, get up!"**_

His magenta eyes fluttered open slowly and immediately the cute angry/flushed face of Hibiya filled his vision. Putting on a cocky smirk, he flipped Hibiya on the bed - earning a small squeak from the pretend prince - and his eyes shone deviously.

"Chibiya-sama, what a wonderful view to wake up to."

Hibiya blushed even more, looking down and pouted in the most adorable manner.

"Stupid Delic..."

Delic ignored the small twinge of pain in his chest, suppressed it, focused on Hibiya and Hibiya solely. He wouldn't let his weakness show because Hibiya had every right not to believe him and because it's not like he cared all that much.

-(except that he did, he cared too much, even)

So he decided to transform the odd sensation into a kiss, hot and heavy, yet somehow still betraying his feelings to the other person.

"Hibiya."

Hibiya.

Hibiya.

Hibiya.

I think I-

* * *

**A/N: YEAH! A cliffie! Take that! And if you want to know what happens next, you'd better review!  
**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm back with new parts of Pure Yet Tainted! **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Durarara! and/or any of its characters.**

* * *

"Are you awake?"

No response. As always.

"For how long do you intend to sleep?"

Silence. He sighed, brought the red and black gun from his pocket and pointed it on a nearby building.

He pulled the trigger.

* * *

/

As the sun set in Ikebukuro, a lone figure sat on a bench. Their hair glistened in the yellowish light and the expression on their face was one of melancholy. Their brown/hazelnut orbs shone slightly, the crown and cape they wore were a little filthy.

The person's name was Subarashii Hibiya. And he was a clone.

Now when you think about the order of information given to you, you will probably scold me for not telling you such essential information right in the beginning. But for him, this little truth, fact, statement - or just whatever you want to call it, was completely and utterly irrelevant.

What is it like, to live as one's copy, you ask? Hibiya wouldn't be able to answer you. He'd shrug it off, insult you and act all bratty, but in fact he'd be deep in thought. Yes, he may not remember his childhood, or anything before this, but at the same time, it felt natural to him. And it's not like him and the self-proclaimed original were identical. They had different eyes, clothes and the most important - personalities. Now Hibiya knew that he was in fact just a part of Orihara Izaya's psyche but Hibiya liked to think of himself as a undependant entity.

And as soon as he materialized on this planet, as soon as he came to be - he knew what he should and shouldn't act like and who the other clones were. He remembered Psyche as a loud and annoying person that had his face. Remembered Tsugaru as a calm and serene man who always seemed to have great advice.

And then there was Delic.

The person he came to love - unwillingly.

The one that made him painfully aware of his loss of control.

Delic.

The awfully rude and charming commoner that called him by degrading names, teased and mocked him.

The only one to ever get close to him despite Hibiya's horrible attitude.

Delic.

His first kiss, first date, first lover, first everything.

Delic.

The first one to betray his trust.

The one that made him cry angry tears.

Delic.

Delic.

Delic. Delic. Delic. Delic. Delic. Delic. Delic. Delic. Delic. Delic.

'I think I might be in-'

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

'I love Izaya'

That was the only thing he could think of as he drove towards Shinjuku, to greet the informant.

Also: 'He can never know.'

It was quite simple, really. He was in love with one of his friends. That didn't sound so bad, did it? Now let's just change things a little.

The monster of Ikebukuro held an unrequited love for his male friend, who just happened to be the most dangerous man of Ikebukuro and Shinjuku, probably the entire Tokyo actually.

Yes, he was that fucked up.

It took all of his will - because power of love souds too silly - not to crash intentionally in some of those cars with their particular drivers.

He would finally get to see Izaya after few months. Not just one of his copies, but the real deal. And yes - those two clones that barged in his apartment one evening, were getting really annoying, so he sent them to Izaya's huge condo while Izaya stayed with him.

And of course he was curious about his and Izaya's lookalikes acting all lovey-dovey around each other but well, he'd seen weirder things, such as the Saika possessed army or a headless rider. So he decided not to question it. Not to question the way sour jealousy wad eating at him whenever they did so. Not to question the way he closed his eyes and shut himself off whenever Delic started coming on to Izaya.

'I love Izaya.'

That was the only thing he could think of as he stopped the car and took a nervous step towards the informant.

Also: "He can never know."

* * *

They existed, right then, right there. Out of nothing - a disaster.

The red-eyed male with a gun sat on a barrel of gasoline, smirking lazily and stretching.

"Psy, you son of a bitch, come on out!" he sang in a rough voice.

Another person, with aura as scary and dangerous as the other man's, laughed and then contradicted himself by growling.

"Not hiding, Vi!"

Slowly the sunshine hit his face. Blonde hair fell in his electric green eyes. His eyebrows were scrunched together and he wore a wild animalistic smirk full of shiny white shark-like teeth.

Jumping down from the roof he was sitting on, he attacked Vi by his fists, who easily dodged the punch. Vi took his gun and put it to the blonde man's temple.

Vi loved the thrill that made nonexistent blood stream through his veins faster, the game that made him feel alive, the surge of adrenaline that he could swear he felt during times like those.

-(though they weren't real; never real at all)

So he licked the rough texture of Psy's nape, enjoying the power it gave him. Enjoying the knowledge, that he started another, much more interesting game.

One of pure hatred.

"We got a job!" Vi screamed suddenly in Psy's ear. Psy kneed his partner in stomach, making him yelp.

"Oh"

-kick

"really?"

-kick

"I"

-kick

"almost"

-kick

"forgot."

Pain. Oh god, the pain. Delicious, making him delirious. He wanted to drown himself in it. It hurt so good. He almost forgot what it felt like. More. More pain.

(because it's a wonderful break from all the apathy)

"More," he whispered quietly.

"Such a whore, Vi."

Oh yeah, he was. Slut for the pain, utterly disgusting, twisted kind of pleasure. He so would beg and sell himself out only to feel something like this.

A weight of a grown man straddled his hips.

"Now I wonder, shall I give it to you or not?"

"Psy, you assh- agh!"

"Fuck you. I didn't tell you to speak now, did I?"

Vi shook his head 'no' slowly, the pain coursing through him again, this time slightly dulled.

"I guess we still have some time to have 'fun'." Psy admitted with obvious boredom in his eyes.

Vi mewled meekly, daring to turn his head and meet the other one's gaze.

Just like a disease on Earth.

Slowly, Psy let his fingers travel along the other's cheek but gripped his chin tightly all of a sudden and yanked his face forwards.

An abomination.

"Show me how much you actually want this," he whispered, tone sickeningly sweet, tasting of mashed strawberries.

Freak of nature.

Vi leaned toward the older one's face, eyes glazed over. Their lips met (disgusting, he thinks) and it's urgent, animalistic, driven by lust and makes him feel different. He doesn't want that - what he craves for is the metallic taste of blood in his mouth, scars and bruises.

A mistake.

The purest form of humanity - rage, anger, hatred - all of them combine in him and create his own little heaven.

Error. Error.

Domination and submissiveness, he loves the abuse he gets, because then he can pretend he's real. Although he's far from that.

Error. Error.

Nothing about them is slow or gentle - you could see it in the way Psy tore Vi's clothes and drew patterns of nail scrapes on his chest.

Error. Error.

In the way Psy unbuckled his own pants, letting his member out and chuckling at Vi's wide eyes. In the way he plunged i laughing wildly, without any preparation.

Error. Error.

He knew he was sick for liking his own voice most when it was hoarse because of all the screaming. Knew it wasn't right to enjoy the ripping sensation in his lower back. Knew he wasn't supposed to be happy this way.

Error. Error.

Thrusting in a narrow alleyway - that was his reality. Blood oozing down his most private parts too. Feeling great deal of pain, wanting more, getting insulted - he accepted it all and embraced it. Whimpering, sobbing and screaming without tears.

Error.

It was all consensual. He gave Psy all the power he didn't have, the burden of being fake.

-(because they can't shed tears, she said, because they can't shed tears they won't ever be human)

Error.

...

* * *

**A/N: Review, pretty please? It helps the author, y'know?**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello! I know I said I wouldn't have internet now but I do! So I decided to post some more of PYT.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! and/or any of its characters**

* * *

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

He hated the awkward silence that settled upon them when they finally reached the car.

Shizuo may be one of his best friends (actually, it wasn't that hard to achieve that, due to the lack of people that wanted to associate with him out of sheer friendship) but he wasn't very fun to be with unless he was currently pissed of. On the other hand, enraging him wasn't one of the best ideas - for regular people, that is. Well Izaya was never one to be scared, so he'd often let Shizuo throw huge objects at him - simply because he could avoid them.

"So, how was Russia?"

Oh. So he did decide to speak up. That was new.

"Cold. No, really, it was freezing there. I couldn't even wear my favorite coat because it wasn't thick enough."

Shizuo chuckled and took a sharp turn to the right. He wasn't aware that Shizuo owned a car before - oh, well.

"Must have been rough."

Well he didn't expect Shizuo to be talkative all of a sudden, but really?

"Yeah. And I missed you! There was no one to throw vending machines at me!"

A snap made Izaya turn his head to Shizuo completely. What he saw was a display of the blond's inhumane strength. Shizuo gripped his mobile phone too tightly and now only thing remaining were crushed wires, glass and plastic.

It reminded him of a dead body. It looked so fragile all of a sudden.

So he got angry? Well too bad. Izaya was honest, he really did miss Shizuo. Not just his rage but also his personality and sense of safety he felt with him. And Shizuo's reaction somehow made him feel... bitter. He shook off the feeling.

"What about the clones?"

"Oh, them? Still here."

Ahh, how simple everything had to be in Shizuo's little world. He envied that. Shizu-chan has always been this monster with many friends who were truly devoted to him - all the while Izaya was very much human, thank you and his supposed friends would most likely want him on the bottom of Tokyo Bay. Well Shizuo excluded. Although he sometimes seemed to be irritated by Izaya more than anyone, he'd never harm him seriously.

Though he had to admit - they didn't start as best friends, their relationship used to be more of a 'I hate you so damn much it hurts'ship.

He'd been shunned by humans since always. He hadn't been able to understand why everyone was scared of him for years.

But the first day in school made him understand. He was nervous a little yet excited about going there but he thought it would finally be a chance to make some real friends. So during the break he approached this small group of children that formed in the back of the classroom. It was supposed to be simple - really. He only asked what they were doing and one of the children started explaining a game excitedly, frowning without any apparent reason. A tall shy-looking girl with short black hair and braces looked at him, blushing slightly, but when she finally saw his face, she screamed and pointed her finger at him.

"A monster" she screeched.

"Look at his eyes, he's a monster! Eww!"

Her body shivered involuntarily as he gazed back at her, crimson eyes glassy and dull with betrayal. Crimson. That was the problem all along. His hopes seemed to crumble down, everything he wanted disappearing when the kids threw rocks at him after school.

Everyone got scared of him and that day he gave up on trying to be just another human - he decided to be better than any other human. So he placed himself above them - not a monster but a demigod to watch over them and laugh at their misery. He manipulated people and soon he found a way to lure people to him - all through fear. Such a beautiful art - and he was the Monet of cheating.

So when in high school he met Shizuo and saw the obvious display of monstrous strength he thought it was a perfect opportunity to make a real friend. Well that was until Shizuo did what everyone else - straight out rejected him. And hell, if the blond wanted to hate him, two could play the game.

He taunted and annoyed Shizuo as much as he could, doing his best to become the most important person of the other monster's life. It certainly wasn't because he was alone just... He really thought for a moment they could have been friends but when Shizuo displayed his immediate dislike towards Izaya, he got really angry. In a different way than the blonde beast - the silent, bottled up kind of frustration and rage he kept to himself had to overflow one day though. So when it really happened, he got the bartender arrested and so Shizuo became an ex-bartender. He wanted nothing more for the man than to suffer for being such a monster yet being loved by everyone.

Seeing the older man with his friends who adored him despite all his flaws, Izaya became jealous. Ashamed. Inferior compared to Shizuo.

He abhorred that feeling and wanted nothing more than to erase it, forget about it, stop caring and make those stupid emotions, that burning in his chest go away. As far as he knew, Shizuo lost his temper on almost every occasion and scared everyone away. After some time, everyone in the school knew him and they mostly avoided him - the only ones hanging out around him were Shinra, Kadota and Izaya. Back in highschool their rivalry was way milder - they had to hang around each other a lot after all and all disagreements were forgotten in the time of exams - Izaya would never admit it, but Shizuo wasn't as stupid as Izaya thought him to be so they had to help each other out a lot.

Only some time ago did they reach a mutual peace - by an accident really, they found themselves in a rather bad predicament with a gang. Not like Shizuo couldn't take on pretty much anything that went his way but those guys had guns. And they didn't want money, revenge only. Some of the guys started shooting before the order came - which was a gravely mistake. They aimed for Izaya - another stupid thing to do when you have a beast in front of you, really, but Shizuo took the bullet without hesitating. Thankfully it only scraped his right arm a little so he was able to pick up a nearby pole and 'eliminate' all the thugs. After doing that they kind of ended up in an awkward silence until Izaya noticed the blood on Shizuo's arm, panicked and almost dragged him, Heiwajima Shizuo to Shinra. They stopped their usual chases altogether then because they thought it'd be best to lay low right now. But when they actually met, they'd just go to Russia Sushi together if they had time, which had become sort of a neutral territory because of Simon.

This carried on for weeks and then the clones appeared - two couples, ah, yes, couples that looked exactly like them just started walking down the streets of Ikebukuro once so of course Shizuo and Izaya (and Shinra with that creepy gleam in his eyes) wanted to know what they were, where they came from and why they looked like the exact copies. And naturally, they needed to get them out of the streets - after all they had too many enemies and this could be trouble.

After getting to know each of them, they agreed on them living with Izaya since it was safest. That way, Izaya could fire Namie and used Hibiya and Tsugaru as his field assistants while Psyche and Delic helped him home. Delic proved to be useless immediately - not that he didn't know what to do - he did, and he did it right but he kept flirting with Izaya nonstop. On the other side, Psyche tried hard but.. it didn't always go very well. In the end they got used to living like this. Izaya had to get one new bed in the old office though since Delic and Hibiya didn't have a place to sleep at first so that Izaya had to sleep on the couch while the two occupied his bedroom.

Shizuo often came to visit because of the clones and for Izaya too so they often had those huge sleepovers. Yes, even at their age, the two most dangerous men in all of Tokyo organized sleepovers with their look-alikes. They usually bought huge amount of food (all kinds really, the tastes varied so much it was kind of awkward to buy it all right before midnight in the nearest supermarket. At home they would stuff the food in tiny bowls, mugs and plates and place it around them randomly. Psyche would jump down on the floor and almost knock down the snacks all the while tugging Tsugaru behind him. He'd sit on the blonde male's lap and choose a movie they'd watch. Hibiya would keep telling him no to every single suggestion until the pink-eyed raven almost cried and only then would Hibiya sigh and tell him what they could watch. Delic would usually end up molesting him on the couch they settled on as soon as the lights were turned off by Shizuo. Him and Shizuo would sit on the couch too. The first time they did this, Izaya was sitting next to Delic but he found out really quickly that Delic had his hands literally everywhere - how did he even manage to do the same things to both him and Hibiya remained a mistery to him forever. In the end, Shizuo ended up next to Delic, growling whenever Delic even tried anything on Izaya, who found it rather endearing (well Shizu-chan defending him, not Delic trying to seduce him while almost having sex through clothes with Hibiya).

And now it felt safe, familiar even although it lasted only few months. He liked having other people in the house, although they could be annoying sometimes.

And now he was coming back to that without knowing anything about the terrible turn of events that was about to take place.

* * *

**A/N: Review/alert/favorite. If you've already done that, thanks a lot for the support!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello everyone! I'm gonna be gone for the next week and that's unfortunatelly official. But on the other side, this time I'm bringing you a twice-as-big-than-the-usual chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! or/and any of its characters.**

* * *

==============================

He groaned as he woke up. His head ached, no, his entire being ached. He overdid it once again. All the artificial blood already dissipated, leaving him with no physical evidence of what happened. Not that he needed any.

The pain was all he wanted. And Psy was a safe source to get it from.

No one could ever understand. He didn't find the pain pleasant, not really, but it prevented him from feeling dead. He didn't remember anything from his past. He was a clone of a clone - a fake fake. Bent and twisted lie, trying to replace the truth. He was created one day - by some woman whose name he never got to know. They were to call her Nee-san. She always wore long coat over her short skirt (something he could never understand) and when she spoke to them, she'd use insults very often and degrade them in every way possible. He hated her. That was actually the first human emotion he could feel - hatred. It was a gift to him, so he hated with all his might, hated everyone who crossed his path. Including Psychedelic-420 - another clone/of/a/clone like him.

One day a mysterious man picked them up, saying that they had to listen to him. They had to get in his car. They got commands - 'infect the original clones' and guns - each of them got one.

First Vi didn't feel like doing what they wanted from him. He didn't see a reason to listen to someone else. But then he understood. He wasn't like the 'original clones'. Psy and him were cheaper versions of the clones. He remembered Nee-san saying that the other clones could **[cry]**. After spending his life as a clone trying to learn to** [cry]** - watching them, looking for reasons to do so, doing research about **[tears]** and **[emotions]**, he still couldn't **[cry]**. His system was almost identical to the original clones' ones with the exception of components that Nee-san considered unnecessary: **[cry]**, **[emotions]** and **[tears]**. Thankfully one day he got ahold of a USB disk which contained the beta programme developed by Nee-san - **[emotions_beta]**. But it only gave him small amount of the basic human **[emotions]**. Him and Psy had **[feelings]** installed from the beginning but they were only limited to **[feelings:component/hatred_joy_annoyance_sadness_l oyalty_guilt]**. As he soon found out, **[feelings:component/guilt]** wasn't the same guilt that humans felt - **[feelings:component/guilt]** was a system to work when **[feelings:component/loyalty]** crashed, something that was extremely painful and crushed his insides whenever he disobeyed Nee-san or **[admin]**.

Vi got up from the cold ground, collected his already repaired clothes and retrieved the gun. As soon as he touched it a surge of adrenaline overwhelmed him. It was tingling in his bones - how he was glad that he installed **[emotions]** in time. He smiled and jumped up to the roof, making a pirouette in the air.

"Psy, you lazy asshole, come out and play!"

His words echoed through the humid air of Ikebukuro, reaching said man's ears, making him growl out loudly.

Vi started running towards the sound excitedly, singing a foreign tune.

* * *

/

"Hibiya!"

Hah, one of the first times Delic actually called him by his real name.

"Hibiya! Damn it, are you oka-"

Another gun shot. He saw the body next to him fall on the ground. No. This was not okay, not supposed to be happening, he couldn't comprehend how bad this really was.

He wanted to move, wanted to scream, but couldn't. So he crawled over to Delic, tears filling his vision. Delic lay there motionless, eyes open but when he noticed Hibiya, he sat up, slowly.

"Hibiya, are you alright?" he mumbled.

Hibiya nodded, the salty water streaming down his face.

"That's good, that's good."

Hibiya smiled and lay on Delic's chest.

He wanted to know what Delic's heart would sound like if he was human. Sometimes he imagined it, strong and loud, filling him with hope. Pretended he could feel warmth radiating from Delic's body. Liked to think that he could leave a mark on him if he wanted to.

"Hibiya. Why are you not talking?" Delic whispered hoarsely.

More tears rushed down Hibiya's face.

He couldn't. As if not being human wasn't enough, now he couldn't even speak anymore.

"Hibiya... Can you... can you speak?"

Hibiya shook his head no, feeling desperate and heavy.

Delic would now surely abandon him. He doesn't have any use for mute whores. It was only a matter of time anyways before he was thrown away. And that was exactly why he couldn't stop the endless tears, the silent whimpers and sobs.

-(but wouldn't ignorance be better than this)

And so he was surprised when he felt himself being embraced so tightly he might have had problems with breathing (if he was human anyways...) and sweet nothings were murmured in his ear.

"Sorry, Chibiya, should have protected you, sorry. Does anything hurt? Sorry, it will be alright. We'll get through this - you and me together. It's going to be fine because _**- - -**_"

'_No.'_

_'Stop lying.'_

_'It hurts.'_

_'Hurts so damn much!'_

_'How do you dare say such a lie!'_

_'No.'_

_'It can't be true, look at you, all you need is a quick fuck.'_

_-(sorry Delic, sorry, I know it's not that but... But... I won't be able to take it if it's only a lie)_

_'You can't say that because-'_

**"I love you."**

_'-you don't.'_

_'I do.'_

* * *

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

He could have done something. Should have done something.

But he didn't.

Didn't notice a shady figure running their way. Didn't register the person as someone who had the same face as Psyche. Didn't see the gun until it was too late.

Two bullets were shot - one was sent through Psyche's head, one through Tsugaru's chest. They would have already been dead were it not for them being just machines.

He had been shot before. Then it was harsh and painful and it damaged his circuits. But this time it was more like a dull ache and some liquid flowing through him.

**[mission:success]**

A dark voice spoke up, echoed in his skull. It sent shivers up his spine, eyes widening. Tsugaru tried to locate the owner of the voice, but there was no one except him and Psyche. The man with a gun ran away by now.

Right. Psyche. He had to make sure Psyche was okay.

The raven was right next to him, sitting and with a hand holding his forehead. He could hear as Psyche whimpered quietly. Tsugaru walked to him and gently lifted the delicate hand from his face.

"Psyche?"

The smaller man looked up, small tears in the corners of his eyes. He let himself be held up by Tsugaru, still watching him.

He wouldn't forgive the one that did this, ever. His beautiful lover seemed to be in so much pain, it hurt Tsugaru inside.

"Psyche, are you hurting?"

"Psyche."

"T-Tsu-chan! Are you alright? I-I'm so sorry! I-It was my f-fa-"

Tsugaru decided to silence his lover by a kiss, deepening it for further intimacy. Psyche whimpered weakly and sat up straight in Tsugaru's lap, caressing the wound around Tsugaru's **[heart]**.

Psyche never panicked like that before, so something had to be wrong indeed. And that was why Psyche, the fragile, lovely being next to him would never know. All he wanted was to keep his lover safe.

His chest burned.

As he helped Psyche stand, a pulsing pain overwhelmed him and he fell to his knees. Deep mechanic voice resonated in his head, repeating the same message over and over again. He felt the need to scream, shriek, cry out loud, whatever, just to silence it.

**[activate/C:v-138/Tsu138]**

Something built up in his body, like a fire, his head aching. He could faintly hear Psyche's cries next to him, but there was no way for him to focus on them. Everything was now too cold yet boiling, trying to destroy him from inside. He couldn't see anything anymore, there was just a blurry red darkness.

**[v-138/activate_function:direct orders/admin]**

He blacked out.

* * *

His house was on fire.

High and colorful flames ate at the building, savoring its taste. They always licked experimentaly along one of the windows and then sucked the whole apartment in. There were firefighters everywhere, trying to lessen the damage but his flat was the epicentre of the fire.

"Shizu-chan? What is i- Oh god!"

The scenery held some kind of hopelessness in it, the knowledge of being weaker than the fire element.

Izaya grasped his hand suddenly dragging him in the back seat with a force that he never displayed before. Izaya himself jumped in the front seat and sped away.

"Izaya! What the hell was that for?" Shizuo screamed with a bewildered expression on his face.

"Shizu-chan" Izaya paused to turn right. "The most dangerous man in Ikebukuro lives in this apartment and there's a fire just before he returns with the other most dangerous man in Ikebukuro in his particular flat? That's not an accident! It was probably a warning, maybe even attempted murder! Those people may be waiting for us to show up..."

"Flea! That's bullshit! I can take them all on so let me go!"

"Look... what I'm trying to suggest-" Izaya began again, this time calmer, breathing in deeply "-is that you will live with me for a while."

He couldn't believe this! His home was ruined, all of his possessions gone and Izaya chose that moment to act stupidly and spontaneously. This wasn't the right time!

"Stop being so paranoic! It's my house that's on fire!"

"Exactly! That's why you should hide."

"I can take care of myself! And your aparment is currently occupied by those clones anyway so we can't go there."

He almost hit the seat in front of him because of the impact of the sudden stop. In front of him was one of those extremely unusual moments when Izaya was really serious. His face was flushed with rage, hair in his eyes and a somehow cold somehow cruel expression hardening them. Yet he looked so beautiful in that moment - his young features glowing because of the city lights, crimson in his gaze, so charming. Around them passed a couple, giggling slightly.

"Fine. If you feel like you can't trust me, just go."

No. That wasn't it. He shook his head no slowly, sighed and Izaya started driving again as if nothing happened.

"My apartment is big enough. We can all fit in if someone sleeps on the couch. Heh, Hibiya wouldn't like that."

And the raven was back to his cheery, funny self, laughing at his own jokes.

* * *

Psyche and Tsugaru aren't home - that's what he thought as he drank his coffee silently. It wasn't like he cared or anything, he just...

"Do you feel better now Hibiya?"

He hated it. Hated the way Delic treated him differently, not teasing him, not flirting - simply being serious for once. Hated the constant reminder of his loss, the helplessness he felt crawling over him.

Hated that he couldn't ridicule Delic in a situation like this to cover the awkwardness and embarrassment he felt. Hated not being able to answer, to scream, to fucking cry out loud until he lost his own voice - what an irony, really. So he'd give anything to be interrupted by that stupid peasant that looked like him or even his lowly lover.

I'm... alright..., he wrote on a small slip of yellowish paper.

Hated that he couldn't say those words to Delic...

"I'm so sorry. I should have done something. We will get someone to repair you. Right? We will get through this. We're fine," Delic kept reassuring him as he himself walked around the kitchen nervously.

Hibiya watched him, pain evident in his eyes. Finally deciding what to do now, he banged his fist on the table, succesfully gaining Delic's attention. Said man looked up to see a rather distressed raven, standing in the middle of their modern kitchen, holding a "me 3 catz" mug in his hand, bloodstains still visible on his outfit. His eyes looked like ones of a child and the entire moment seemed like the most ridiculous thing ever to the newcoming pair.

"Hibiya, can you just stay in our room?" Delic asked quietly and lead the raven upstairs while the newcomers were astounded by the obedience Hibiya showed.

_'Delic don't leave me.'_

_'You're going to go flirt with Izaya again. And then... then you'll ditch me. Since I'm of no use for you right now. Or ever again, right?'_

_-(so why did those tears taste so bittersweet?)_

* * *

**A/N: See you soon and BTW, when I come back, I'll have some smut for Delizaya (probably)! Also I'm starting a new fill on Shizaya and I was wondering whether you would like to see it here.**

**Have a nice day, and if you have any time to spare and type up a few words, leave a review! :D **

**Love,**

**Shizu-ruu**


End file.
